He Stands Alone
by HeyThereLionMan
Summary: He stands alone, bitter from the love his father never gave him. He stands alone, draped in a trenchcoat and watching from afar. He stands alone, the only one in the world. He stands alone, except for the animal at his side.


_January 24, 1979_

Darkness swarms the city, covering the windows and hiding the shadowed faces of people, their footsteps like whispers as they move through the alleyways, daemons racing alongside them.

In the covering of an alley, set up between an ever-climbing office building and a small brick bar, a man sits, huddled beside a dumpster. He glows faintly, a sickening reminder to himself of what he lost. The darkness feels nice, sinking in and settling around his body. It dances around his wings too, settling upon them like dust and fluttering away with every light breeze or twitch of a feather. He does not move.

He has not moved in many years.

OoOoOoO

A flash of white fur and the presence of something big at the foot of the bed are the first signs that Dean Winchester will be different. It is not the usual first form that many babies' daemons have; a kitten or a puppy or sometimes even a small bird, but a bear cub; pure, blinding white, and curled up. The cub has fur but is mewling pitifully, stretching its stumpy legs and trying to crawl the short distance towards its human counterpart.

"It's a boy!" The nurse holds up the small child and leans down, tenderly studying the body of the bear cub which is wriggling on the bed. Her shy brown eyes rise up to meet the expectant mother's and the nurse's smile is shaky.

"He's also a boy." And Mary Winchester's face lights up with that half happy, half pained, fully tired face that every new mother has. She reaches forward, taking her son, her firstborn baby, into her arms, the name she and John had chosen months ago rolling easily off of her tongue.

"Dean. Dean Winchester," Her eyes slide to the foot of the bed where the bear cub is whimpering. "And Adael." Mary looks up at John, who is leaning in to kiss her, adoring glances falling upon the baby.

Their daemons are both birds; Mary's a Mountain Bluebird and John's a Peregrine Falcon. As they look down on their son, squirming in Mary's arms towards his daemon, they can't help but wonder, in their hearts, what form of bird his daemon will take.

OoOoOoO

The man awakes slowly, his mind having been still for so long, now finally coming to life again. Opening his eyes, he smiles to himself, his wings beginning to stretch and widen, spreading out behind him in a slow cascade of silken feathers. He used to not be visible to the humans, his position low in the Republic of Heaven but after he was… taken, his connection with the Republic was broken slowly, link by link and chain by chain. Soon he was reduced to _this_. With a bitter sneer, his wings shoot out, expanding to their full size, the end of his right wing flicking the dumpster down the alley.

The man stands, dumpster hitting the far wall of the alley, mind buzzing with energy. With another flick of his wing, the man disappears, reappearing in the corner of a room. The room is empty except for a woman, a dark haired man and their newborn son. The man sighs gently, relishing in the sensation that he settled into so easily. He couldn't be seen by these people. Couldn't be seen by anyone unless he wanted to be.

The man edges forward, careful not to tread too near to the bird daemons that were perched on the iron bars of the hospital bed, nestled together. Daemons couldn't see him either, but had more distinguished senses, able to note that something was different about their surroundings if he got too close to them. But he didn't go near them, instead peering down from the foot of the bed at the boy, only about an hour old, nestled into the fur of his daemon, a bear cub. The man winces, a feeling of unease about the bear cub going through him. Though the cub sleeps, the man knows it is a male and he knows that this is not normal for a child. Nothing about this is.

Suddenly, the boy's eyes open, a shocking shade of forest green, and immediately latch onto the man's. He doesn't look away, not daring to even let a breath pass his lips as the child watches him. The boy's eyes track every movement of his own, the man soon swallowed up within them, lost in the leaves of the trees that fill the forests locked within the boy's eyes.

The boy blinks, eyes turning up to face his mother with adoration. For a moment, the man watches, feeling entirely emotionless towards this display of affection. He, too, blinks, but disappears afterwards, the boy turning back towards where the man that only he could see had once stood. Doing the only thing that a baby knows how to do, the child cries, tears beginning to stream down his face for the lost friend.

The bear daemon sleeps on.

OoOoOoO

_May 2, 1983_

When Sam Winchester was born, Dean was surprised. Not because he had a brother, but because his brother's daemon had come out so ordinary. A little baby bluebird, like their mother's. Dean, being only 4 at the time, still didn't understand the concept of not touching another's daemon. While Mary and John's daemons, Evin and Sophie, didn't mind, their bond with Dean one of love and thus making him touching them not unpleasant, Dean was a curious child. Once, he had almost touched a woman's cat daemon at the supermarket before Mary had grabbed him and taken him outside, scolding him the whole way until he buried himself in Adael's thick fur and didn't speak for three hours.

So when Sam's daemon turned from a bluebird to a kitten, Dean couldn't resist temptation and reached out, grabbing the kitten's scruff. Sam jolted, crying for a few seconds before quieting down and watching Dean with big eyes, as if he was trying to figure out if Dean was going to hurt him.

It was a moment of silence while the unnamed kitten daemon watched Dean, small golden eyes meeting forest green as the kitten waited to see what this unknown creature was going to do with it.

"Dean, stop touching Sam's daemon," John's voice was hardened, an angry undertone lacing it dangerously. Dean pulled away, eyes still locked on Sam's. Mary never yelled, never screamed and never hit. John was different though, his anger never really showing, but always seeming to bubble just under the surface. This, for some reason, scared Dean even more, the sound of his father's voice, anger running like an electric current through it, enough to make his hand jerk back from the small daemon that was now curling closer to his new brother.

"Dean," Mary was kinder, reaching out weakly and taking Dean's hand in hers. "Would you like to name Sammy's daemon?"

Dean's eyes widened and he scrambled up on the bed, moving in as close to the unnamed daemon as he could without touching it.

"Maeve," He whispered, the name coming to him without a second thought. He would puzzle about it for many years, wondering where or who he got the name from. It was pretty, undoubtedly, and Mary seemed satisfied with it.

"Maeve," She murmured, closing her eyes and succumbing to her exhaustion as John picked Dean up and set Sam down in a crib. "It's beautiful, Dean."

Dean just smiled, taking his Dad's hand and leaving the room to let his mother sleep. He glanced back once, just to get a peek at his brother and the daemon who had settled beside him, now in the form of a Labrador puppy. For a moment, Dean could have sworn that he saw someone in the corner of the room, dressed in a suit and a dirty brownish trenchcoat. The man raised his head and looked at Dean, just for a second, before he disappeared.

Dean turned back around, continuing down the hallway with Adael by his side, a familiar feeling washing over him as he thought about the man's gaze.

OoOoOoO

_November 2, 1983_

The fire burned. If it had been any other instance, one might have considered it merry. If it had been any other instance, Dean wouldn't have been crying. But he was. Dean stood, arms wrapped protectively around Sam, who was bundled up in blankets. Craning his neck as tears spilled down his face, Dean didn't sway, didn't even blink as he stood and watched the fire devour his home.

Suddenly, John stumbled out, Sophie flapping and circling the second story window where Mary's body now was and would forever remain.

"DAD!" Dean screamed, racing forward. Sweat beaded on his brow as the heat from the fire reached him. Sam's cries filled the air, mingling with Maeve's howls. Adael stayed silent, taking on the form of a tiger, the large animal comforting Dean in a skewed way as John stumbled forward, collapsing in front of Dean. Dean stepped back, eyes flickering between his father, now crying, face pressed into Sophie's wing and the house, still ablaze.

She was gone. His mother. Mom. Mommy. Mary. Evin. Never again would he hear the bluebird's cheerful whistle in harmony with his mother's. Never again would he fall asleep to the gentle words of _Hey Jude_.

Never again would he be held in her arms as he cried. Never again.

Tears began flowing faster and Dean finally swayed, falling onto a pillow of soft fur. Adael curled up around him, purring in a vain attempt at comfort as Sammy's cries and Maeve's howls harmonized and pierced the black sky.

The tiger circled Dean, surrounding him and Sam, keeping them safe inside the orange and black striped confines, a protective barrier from whatever the future had in store for them.

"It's alright, Dean. We'll be ok. You'll see, Dean, we're going to be fine."

In the distance, sirens blared and squealed, moving ever closer.

In the distance, a man in a dirty trenchcoat watched.

OoOoOoO

_June 24, 1989_

"I don't get it. Why does Adael never change shape? It's not like he's settled yet," Sam looked perturbed as Maeve fluttered beside him, turning from a butterfly to a robin just to prove she could.

"I don't know. I don't really care what shape he takes," Dean returned defensively, running his hand through Adael's white fur. He never seemed to change from the shape of a bear, white and regal and almost as tall as Dean was. "Bears are badass."

"Yeah Sam, we're badass," Adael's face twisted into an almost eerie grin.

"But he'll settle soon. Don't you want to enjoy him being able to change while he still can?" Sam was being persistent as Maeve circled Sam's head and finally dropped onto his shoulder as a calico cat, lapping at her paw delicately.

Dean raised an eyebrow at Adael, who transformed into a human. In itself, this wasn't strange. Humans were animals, technically, and therefore could also be daemons. But still, even though it was his own daemon, Dean found it unsettling as he stared into Adael's icy blue eyes, taking in the dark hair, ruffled in strange places. The form he had taken was obviously naked and Sam couldn't help but giggle; a sound that made Adael turn his head and glare balefully at Sam.

"What? Never seen a dick before?" Adael sniffed out, turning into a cat and matching Maeve, complete with the paw licking. "I thought you wanted me to be something other than a bear?"

Sam just smirked and stood, stretching as he noticed John at the bottom of the hill that the brothers had climbed. It had been hours since they'd seen their Dad and sitting for that amount of time had been excruciating, but apparently vital to John's hunt.

They never questioned him anymore. Even when he left them sitting in a motel room for two nights with nothing but the food in the minifridge and no money, they didn't question him. It was, after all, the family business. Saving people, hunting things.

As the pair descended the hill, running as fast as they could as Adael and Maeve turned into cheetahs and the brothers raced to the bottom, Dean wondered, just for a second, where he'd seen that man's face before.

OoOoOoO

_December 25, 1993_

"Adael settled,"

Dean spoke the words proudly to the empty room. He had awoken to a strange feeling. It was something new, almost foreign, like he suddenly… belonged. Not exactly to someone or even something, but just that he _belonged_. He and Adael, taking the usual form of a bear and sleeping beside his bed, shared a look as they awoke, realising that Adael had settled. Of course, this didn't mean much to Dean, seeing as Adael usually stayed in this same form for whatever reason, but it was a nice milestone.

"That's great, Dean!" Sam called from the bathroom where his voice was slurred by toothpaste. "I wonder when we'll settle…"

"Probably soon," Dean shrugged, leaning over the edge of the bed and running his hand over Adael's head. Dean was just trying to figure out how tall Adael would be in height compared to him when Sam stepped out of the bathroom, surprise etched across his face.

"Dean… It's Christmas."

Dean froze, eyes widening as realisation dawned on him as well. They'd never exactly celebrated Christmas in the usual sense, but they almost always got some form of gift for each other at the very least.

"I didn't get you anything."

"I didn't get you anything either."

The two looked at each other with sad smiles and Dean just shook his head, dipping down to stroke Adael again.

"Look, this is basically a better Christmas present than I could have gotten from you, so let's just watch some TV and see if Adael is strong enough to break down a tree later on."

Sam smiled at his brother, sitting down next to him on the bed and flicking on the TV.

John didn't come home for 2 more days. When he finally stumbled into the hotel room, his eyes flicking from Adael, sleeping in front of Dean's bed to the large evergreen that was leaning awkwardly in the corner of the room, he said nothing. Even the next morning, as the family packed up what little supplies they had and John threw the tree down a quarry while the boys shuffled into the Impala, he didn't speak.

"Adael settled, Dad." Dean's words were spoken softly, almost worried, wondering what his father would say.

"Good."

And then he turned the ignition, driving away from the motel and not looking back.

OoOoOoO

_January 11, 1997_

Maeve settled in the middle of a hunt. John had gone alone to exorcise a demon, but halfway through, the demon had escaped, John's pentagram evidently not drawn right. Dean and Sam had been sleeping when he'd had barged into the room at 2 in the morning, demanding the two accompany him. Sophie had swooped down, pecking at Adael and Maeve as John had woken the two up, alerting each of the room's occupants to what was going on.

The car ride was made in silence, Dean sitting up front and itching to turn on some music while Adael was spread out across the backseat, pressed up lightly against Maeve, who was in the form of brown stoat, her underbelly cream coloured, fur silky and smooth. Sam looked out the window, bitter from being woken up and from John apparently being unable to draw a damn _pentagram_right.

They pinpointed the demon quickly from the chain of destruction it was leaving in its wake. The plan was simple enough; John would recite the exorcism while Sam, Dean, Maeve and Adael mauled the demon as much as possible so it wouldn't escape.

Dean sighed as he exited the car, opening the door for Adael as he lumbered out. He and Sam were always the bait. Always.

"Ready?" Dean prompted as Maeve leapt onto Sam's arm and scurried up it, settling upon his shoulder.

"As I'll ever be."

"Alright. HEY, YOU! YEAH, YOU, THE BLACK-EYED BITCH." The demon turned, her eyes sliding to black as her long, dark hair whipped around in a flurry of motion.

"Cocky for someone who looks 12. Hiding behind your daemon?"

"Bitch, he hides behind _me_," Dean smirked at the demon as he pulled out a knife. "Bears are the least of your problem."

And then he lunged.

In hindsight, Dean should have noticed Maeve's lack of changing the last few hours. Or at least Sam's hesitation. But he didn't. Instead, he began to get beaten by a demon while John started reciting madly and Sam panicked off to the side.

"MAEVE, WE COULD USE SOME BACKUP RIGHT ABOUT NOW, PLEASE," Adael cried as Dean kicked the demon off of him and swiped at it with the knife, Adael all the while struggling to help his human. As stupid as it was with Adael settling as a freaking bear, Dean hated Adael being vulnerable to the things they hunted.

"I- I- I can't!" She cried, squirming wildly on Sam's shoulder. Dean whipped his head around, aghast.

"You settled?! NOW, OF ALL TIMES?"

"Looks like pretty boy is missing his backup," the demon smirked, lunging again at Dean as Adael tried to attack her, but failed, her movements too quick and precise.

Suddenly the demon stopped, turning and trying to lunge at John just before he finished the passage, closing the book as the demon left the human body, falling through the ground and leaving just the now-empty vessel. No daemon, nothing.

"Maeve settled?" John stepped over, looking down with Sam and Dean at the body.

"Yeah, I think she's a stoat? Or an ermine, weasel-y thing."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks, Dad." Sam looked up, staring into his father's eyes, and then sliding his gaze to Sophie who didn't look up. Sam paused, watching Sophie's discomfort for a moment before looking back down, hand running over Maeve's elongated body.

One day, _one day_, he wouldn't do this anymore.

OoOoOoO

_September 18, 1999_

"Sammy, what the hell are these."

Sam looked up as he stepped into the room, surprised etched across his face.

"Dean, I…"

"No, Sam. What. The. Hell. Are. These."

Sam shook his head, reaching up unconsciously and rubbing Maeve's neck. She was perched lazily on his shoulder like usual, tail drooping down his back and front legs and head resting on his collarbone.

"College applications, Dean. I wanted to get a head start on them."

"No way."

"Dean," Sam paused, settling on the bed where Maeve leapt off and bounded forward, touching noses with Adael who barely indicated she had entered the room. "Don't you ever want more? Don't you ever stop and think, 'What if our lives weren't just killing demons?'"

"No, because this is the family business. This is what we do, Sam, and nothing can change that."

"I can change that."

Dean looked taken aback at Sam's words and he slumped down on the bed opposite his brother.

"Are… you sure you're going to do this? Are you sure you want to just leave us behind?"

"No," Sam replied and Dean relaxed. "But I'm sure that I don't want to do this forever."

"There'll always be bad things out there, Sam."

"And there'll always be guys like Dad to kill them."

Dean shook his head, Adael standing up and tugging forward, towards the door. Dean followed silently and opened the motel room, stepping out into the light and turning back for a second to whisper, "Just don't get hurt out there, Sammy. I hear that the world's a dangerous place."

OoOoOoO

_August 14, 2001_

"SAM! SAM, WAIT UP, GODDAMNIT." Sam whirled on Dean, anger pulsating from his very aura, Maeve's tiny body rearing up on Sam's shoulder and hissing viciously.

"What do you WANT, Dean?!" Sam yelled, taking a furious step forward, ignoring the tiny step that Adael took back, his proximity to Sam uncomfortably close.

"Sam, please stay," Adael's voice pleaded. Dean bobbed his head, reaching to grab Sam's sleeve as his brother jerked back.

"I'm pretty sure that Dad was clear that he didn't give a _damn_about where I go!" Sam's voice rang true and Dean knew it. Still, he persisted.

"Please, Sam, stay. It's us, we're a family and we have to stick together." Adael stepped forward, raising up his paw and batting at the air near Maeve's body, trying to get her to come down.

"Maeve, please don't leave us," The bear murmured gently, but Maeve wasn't listening.

"Dean, I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of killing demons and hunting things that go bump in the night. I'm sick of the fact that every time Dad looks at me he has that same damn expression justbecause Maeve isn't a bird! Disappointment, Dean. He's been disappointed in me ever since she changed." Sam cast his eyes downwards, Maeve not looking at Adael either. "Maeve was his last hope at having a bird daemon in the family," The words were blurted out suddenly, but Sam held his ground, steadying himself and looking at Adael.

"He doesn't care that she's not a bird, Sam," Dean tried to plead, but he knew it wasn't true. He did care. He had always cared.

"Dean, you know he doesn't like Adael either. And I know you think that there's something wrong with Adael. I know that at every school we went to, you searched and searched for someone, _anyone_with a bear daemon. I know that you know that we've never met anyone, not one person who has a daemon even remotely similar to Adael," Sam paused, watching the expression on Dean's face change from hardened anger to pain. "And I know that you hunt to try and fill the gap that's caused by not knowing why. Not knowing why he chose to take that form. But there's nothing wrong with Adael, Dean, and if you'd come with me then you could see it too."

Dean shook his head slowly, stumbling back from Sam, who watched him sadly.

"No… Sam, I can't leave Dad. He… I… I just can't stop hunting, Sam."

"I know," Sam closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Stay safe, Dean."

"You too, Sam."

And with that, both men turned, about to walk away when Adael stopped, standing still and watching Maeve riding Sam's shoulder. The stoat turned, leaping off of Sam's shoulder suddenly and charging full speed towards the bear, the two daemons tugging as far as their bonds would stretch, the pain, physical and mental, scarring them as they tugged and pulled and stretched forward, their noses finally meeting in a moment of peace. The two closed their eyes, saying nothing as their counterparts turned back, heads jerking to watch the daemon's interaction.

And then Adael pulled away, turning and lumbering back to Dean's side, pushing ahead and saying nothing.

Above, the stars weren't the only things that were watching the two.


End file.
